If you’ve ever attended an industry convention or scanned the non- fiction bestseller list, you know that there’s no business like the management guru business. Name the management subject – reengineering, leadership, one-minute management or cheese (as in, “Who Moved…”) – and there’s an expert who has written a book or given a speech. In fact, there seems to be such unending demand for all this expertise that you might start to wonder: Are America’s corporate captains really so clueless?
Not quite. On the whole, our CEOs may not be the management Einsteins their pay packages would indicate, but they can get along just fine without the help of consultants who often repackage the experiences of other managers. The gurus, however, do serve a valuable purpose. In today’s secular age, they are a kind of priestly business class. They provide Answers, which are precisely those verities and common sense truths that everyone already knows but constantly ignores or forgets.
What does this have to do with getting a job? Well, since we all have read a zillion books, articles and newspaper and magazine columns about how to get a job and how to prepare for an interview, we probably know what to do. But we don’t always do it. Maybe we forget or we’re frightened or depressed. So, let me tell you, like a management guru, The 12 Foolproof Ways to Get a Job. (Unlike a certified guru, I’ll tell you up-front that this is all common sense and stuff you probably already know.)
- Prepare a clear, straightforward resume on plain white paper. Make sure everything is spelled correctly and that the entire document is spotless. A resume is a recap of your accomplishments designed to get you to the next step: an interview.
- Look for a job everywhere – newspaper ads, Web sites, recruiters, friends. Network and schmooze. Create a direct mail program. In short, do everything.
- Make your job looking for a job.
- Stay positive and upbeat. Even if you’re angry as hell and meet a constant parade of idiots in your job search, smile and remain enthusiastic.
- Appear upper-middle-class. Dress neatly and conservatively. Act confident and assured. Need a role model? Think TV news anchor. If that makes you feel like a phony, remember two important points: No one knows you’re acting, and it’s better to be an employed phony than an unemployed saint.
- Appear for appointments on time.
- Be clean and odor-free.
- While you’re job hunting, never complain about anything or anyone, even if it’s justified.
- Try to find out what the job being offered pays and always try to let a prospective employer mention salary first. If that doesn’t work, calculate the value of your salary and benefits and tell the truth when asked.
- Be pleasant to everyone you come in contact with and write thank- you letters.
- Come across as someone who pitches in, is pleasant to work with and does more than asked.
- Help others get jobs, bring together people who can help each other, and become a resource for recruiters. Do this throughout your work life.
(C) Copyright 2001 Evan Cooper. Syndicated by Paradigm News, Inc.
